What is Forever?
by CuteVampireCollie
Summary: Adrian keeps thinking about how what if there was a Strigoi who could still feel emotions. And not just hate or spite, but compassion and love. What if's he right? What if there is a Strigoi that can feel? *Spoilers from Last Sacrifice* AdrianXOC
1. Take it All Away

Kay, once again, I get an amazing idea for a story before I've even finished one of my previous ideas, but this one I have so much inspiration for so hopefully I'll be able to finish it even I do get another idea while working on it. XP Alright, so this idea just came to me while I was reading the last book of Vampire Academy, Last Sacrifice and this is when my story takes place: after Last Sacrifice. So it contains **spoilers!** I think my idea's really creative but that's just my opinion and like I said it just came to me.

Anyways, I hope you all like it and if there are things you don't like, as always constructive criticism is welcome. Please tell me the things you did like and things you think I should change and I'll see if I can work it out.

I don't own Vampire Academy or any of the characters. All that's mine is Carter. (and unfortunately, her Strigoi friends….^^;)

_An Eternity is Not Forever_

_Chapter 1: Take it All Away_

The moon shone brightly alongside millions of stars scattered in the night sky. Anybody would look at this picture of perfection and agree it was marvelous; vivacious. Well, any _human_ that is.

As for a vampire, a Strigoi to be more specific, tonight was definitely not the night to hunting. Which was exactly what Carter Landaya was thinking as she stepped out with her entourage to go human seeking.

Carter was four feet and nine inches tall and had brown hair that was so dark it could almost pass for black. Almost. Obviously, being Strigoi, she had deep blood red eyes that had practically no pupils.

"You guys are idiots. Because of the starts and moon it'll make it easier for humans to spot us which will make for a harder getaway."

A blonde Strigoi rolled his badly contrasting red eyes. "Nice cover up, Carter. You just don't want to go hunting do you? And besides if any other humans come sniffing around, well they'll make for a good dessert then."

Carter raised her delicate eyebrows, a disgusted expression on her chalky, pale face. "Nice, Mark. And to the second part, very true. I don't want to be here especially _because _we're hunting."

This time it was a golden-haired brunette Strigoi that spoke up. "Carter, you don't like hunting _or _blood. You act nothing like a real vampire. Why did Donovan even bother changing you?"

"Yeah, what good was there?" Mark said, suddenly snarling. He began to circle around the petite girl, his eyes glinting with excitement, hopeful for a fight. "You're of no use to us so why don't we just kill you?"

Something flickered in Carter's eyes but it most definitely was _not_ fear. She stared, unblinking and unflinchingly at both of them. "Don't even think about it," she said coldly. "I'm faster than both of you put together and you know it."

Mark hissed but backed down, his upper lip curling into a smirk. He knew Carter was right, but he was one of the types that would never admit to being wrong. Especially when it was a girl who was right.

Suddenly Mark and the brunette, Damon tensed. Then their stone-like faces broke out into merciless smiles. They had scented humans. They both dashed off and left Carter behind.

But Carter made no move to go after them. Instead she sighed. "What would be the point? I'm already dead the way I am," she murmured.

She straightened her posture and looked up at the beautiful, starlit sky. "But I can't help but hope that a spirit user will find me and change me back." Another sigh escaped her pink lips, this time wistful.

*Adrian's POV*

I dragged the cigarette away from my lips and released the smoke in a slow breath. Life just didn't seem to be going well for me lately.

My great aunt had died not too long ago and shortly after Rose had left me for Dimitri. And as if that weren't enough, Rose had come to me just the other day and _begged_ me to at least still be her friend. And because I still love her I had caved and said yes.

I threw the cigarette to the ground and stepped on it to snuff it out.

The fact that Rose had _begged_ me to be her friend, well, begged at all, proved she still did care about me, but just the way she had led me before…I couldn't forget about it.

It was one of the reasons why I had started drinking and smoking more than usual lately. And for gosh sakes, Rose was _still_ getting on my case about it. I mean, we weren't even together anymore.

"Not that we were ever really _together_ to begin with," I muttered, a dry smile placing itself upon my lips. A bitter laugh danced in my throat but instead of releasing it I took out another cigarette, lit it and took another long drag of smoke.

So I guess you could say my life really wasn't too complicated, that I just had a lot of issues I was dealing with, which was the truth but my life was indeed complicated. Not only had my mind been on Rose a lot lately but it had also been somewhere faraway.

It had been on Strigoi. Yes, I had been thinking about those undead, vile beings. I'm not sure if it was my spirit-induced madness talking but lately I had begun thinking…What if there was actually a Strigoi out there that wasn't heartless? That could still feel emotions and see the beauty in small things and the wrongs in killing innocents?

Naturally, there being a Strigoi that _could_ feel would make absolutely no sense mixed with the undead part but it was a thought I hadn't been able to rid myself of.

I hadn't told anyone of my thoughts because let's face it, no one would take me seriously if I did. Strigoi were always looked down upon, and with good reason. I myself looked down upon them, especially because they killed so much of our kind and the ones that protected us.

But what if there were just one? Just _one _Strigoi that could still feel and acted almost or completely the same as they had before the transformation?

And really, no one could tell me I had completely lost it yet because no one had thought Strigoi could be restored and that theory had been proven wrong twice. The first with Dimitri-that got another dry smile-and the second with Sonya.

So a Strigoi still having its emotions from before…that wasn't _so_ far-fetched, was it? I looked around me, around the forest surrounding me. All the greens and browns mixed with the blue of the sky…there had to be a way at least one Strigoi could see the beauty in this.

I exhaled the smoke and allowed my head to turn towards the approaching person.

Surprisingly enough it was Dimitri. Rose hadn't come to see me as often but I would've been expecting to see her more than _him_.

He stopped a few feet in front of me. I nodded to be polite. "Belikov."

"Mr. Ivashkov." He nodded as well, his face cool and the epitome of calm. I grunted and a dry smile once again made its way to my lips. I had definitely not expected him to use formalities with me. But then again, this was Dimitri. Guardian perfection. I rolled my eyes at the thought and then turned my attention back to him.

"Yes?" I asked, my green eyes showing my anxiety. My face was always the picture of calm even when nervous, but my eyes could always give me away. Damn.

"First off, I would just like to say I'm sorry," he said, staring me straight in the eye. I blinked, but this time managed to even keep the emotions from showing themselves in my eyes.

I kept my face blank and took another drag of smoke. "For what?" I asked. He scrutinized my carefully, no doubt trying to lift my true feelings to the surface. But I wouldn't condemn myself to revealing my pain in front of him.

"For the fact that because of me you don't have Rose anymore."

Ah. Rose…I took yet another long, slow drag of smoke and exhaled. "She was never mine to begin with. She was always yours."

Once again, I was able to keep my face under control, but my eye. Those damn emerald traitors. They could always give me away. And I knew they were doing that just now, but I quickly covered it up by dragging the cigarette to my lips again. It seemed like I had been doing that a lot lately, especially when faced with something like this.

Dimitri looked pained by that revelation, yet at the same time, relieved. Yup, he had it easy because the girl he loved had ran right back to him. Lucky bastard…

He was about to respond but quickly pursed his lips, obviously thinking of how to properly form his next words.

"I'm not saying I'm sorry that she came back to me…I'm just saying I'm sorry that because of me things didn't work out between you two."

I shrugged, hoping I seemed at least somewhat unbothered by this conversation. "Like I said, she was always yours. I knew that too. Always did. The apology means a lot but is unnecessary."

And with that, I turned my attention back to all the nature surrounding me and Dimitri sighed, somehow taking our conversation as a defeat of some kind.

But after a few moments of standing there quietly, he gave me one last glance and then left, going back exactly the way he had come.

I was going to need another cigarette. There was no way that through all of this I would make it without my vices. They were truly the only things keeping me sane right now.

Although the still didn't do enough. I would rather have spirit completely take me over and just make me go mad. Surely it had to better than _this._

That thought added along to all my others really wasn't helping the matter, but whatever. It's not like I wasn't already stressed. So, more stress? That means more cigarettes, I guess.

"What had happened to me?"

_Take away the pain I feel_

_Submerge it under water_

_And let it drown_

_Take away the emptiness I feel_

_And bring me back to life_

_Please, it's all that I want_

How was that? Okay? Good? I'm curious to know. :) I just feel bad that Adrian has to be in so much pain. DX Rose may be my favorite character, and I mean no offense to her, but I really do blame her for most of how Adrian's feeling. Anywho, thanks to all those who do review and before I forget…the lyrics at the end, I came up with myself. So in other words, I wrote them and just like this idea they came to me and then fit perfectly. XP Don't you just love when that happens.

The first part of it is supposed to describe Adrian and the second is for Carter. So just in case you couldn't figure out. ;D Alright, I'll stop boring you with my talking for now and just let you wait for my introduction in chapter 2 which should hopefully come soon.

Oh, but I would also like to thank A-Queenoffairys for all the talks we've had and no doubt will continue to have about Vampire Academy. You're also a lot of the reason I got inspiration for this, so this story's for you! :heart:


	2. In the Moment

Like I said, this story has given me sooo much inspiration and I couldn't wait to continue so hopefully chapters for this story will come quicker than for others. ^^; I hope you enjoyed chapter 1 enough to read chapter 2 so here it is and I hope it's to your expectations.~

_An Eternity is Not Forever_

_Chapter 2: In the Moment_

A sigh escaped the lips of Carter Landaya once more that day. She was now stuck in the basement of the warehouse where her coven hid because the sun was out and they couldn't even be in front of windows without being burnt to a crisp.

If she wasn't a Strigoi she would've been so bored she'd be crying right now. But she knew her kind couldn't so why even bother trying, right?

But it was sunrise so that was a good thing, right? She rolled her eyes. Wrong. Her beloved "coven" decided that they were a large enough group to successfully attack the Court.

Which was stupid because even Carter, who hadn't been a Strigoi for as long as some of her coven, she knew the gamble of doing that. There'd be too many guardians which would make for too heavy of security.

And besides, doing something like that was wrong. But her coven said she had to come along so she'd go with but before they'd get fully to Court she'd hide out in the nearby forest and just wait.

True she did not like seeing death, the only of her kind basically, but she was really looking forward to at least a few of her kind getting staked.

Her lips curved into a smile at the thought. She knew it'd be hilarious to see a lot of them get what they've deserved for probably centuries.

So as the sun finally went behind the mountains and the last little bit of daylight flooded she stood up and went toward the stairs of the basement.

"What? Now you're looking forward to hunting?" Damon asked, smirking. She rolled her red eyes and stamped her foot impatiently.

"I think it's because we're finally hunting Moroi and Dhampir and that's what she's been wanting all along," a black-haired vampire named Lizzie said, her smirk just as wide as Damon's.

Again, that comment was met with another roll of Carter's eyes. "No and no. I just want to see a lot of you get your butts kicked," she said, a smirk of her own rising to her lips.

The strongest Strigoi after Donovan had been killed, Anastasia, had taken charge and was now leading her coven out into the world where the night sky was filled all around them.

And obviously, with their speed it didn't take any of them, especially Carter long at all to get to before the borders of Court.

What the guardians hadn't realized was that, like another Strigoi attack, back before Carter had even been changed, the wards were very weak so the Strigoi could easily break through.

Carter, knowing that there was no way she could stand up to all of her own coven and also because she didn't want to fight, backed off immediately as the idiots surrounding her made their big entrance.

Sure she would've have loved to help protect the Moroi and Dhampirs but it would seem odd for a Strigoi to be helping and they'd probably kill her before she could even get the chance. And she wanted nothing more than to be back to the way she was so she was waiting, hoping, praying even, that a spirit user would someday find her.

She hopped up into the safety of a tree as she heard the terrified screams fill the air. She cringed, inwardly and visibly, but there was nothing she could do to help those being attacked except to sit out.

What she hadn't expected was for a Moroi or a Dhampir to be out and around a forest with nothing but darkness and looming shadows around them. But there was indeed one Moroi and so Carter tensed and backed up farther on the branch she was crouching on.

The Moroi looked up, as if somehow sensing Carter there and even in the dark and though she was wearing black, the boy was able to tell what she was immediately because of her bright, pulsing red eyes.

*Adrian's POV*

I gasped and stepped back as I saw the gleaming red eyes of a Strigoi meet my own shocked emerald ones.

She, obviously realizing she had been caught, jumped down from the high tree branch and landed easily and swiftly in front of me.

She instantly held her hands up in that way people did when they were trying to show they meant no harm. "Look, I don't want to fight you," she said.

I frowned. Strigoi loved to fight. Why wasn't she taking her chance and fighting me? There was no way I could beat her. Not if I couldn't fight using physical force and since my element was spirit…well that wasn't exactly the physical force I was thinking of or my method of choice at the moment.

She still made no move toward me even when I shifted my position tensely. She eyed me curiously. "I've forgotten how pretty Moroi are up close." She smiled in a way that clearly showed her fangs but not in a menacing way. Again, a _Strigoi_ we're talking about here!

"You know," she said dryly, "If my intentions had been to hurt you, don't you think I would have done so already?"

I blinked. The question had been, oddly enough…not anything like a Strigoi would say. Nothing about the way she was acting seemed Strigoi at all.

"Why aren't you at Court?" She suddenly asked, once again curious. I couldn't answer at first because of the deep pools of red that were her eyes.

"Umm…I came out for a walk," was all I could manage. She snorted. "At this time of night. No offense, but that's not the smartest thing in the world to do."

"Yeah, not when your kind are always looming around looking for a chance to break through," I said slyly. Good, I was slowly getting over my shock and even more slowly regaining my ability to make witty quips even while in danger.

"Well, I should be going," I said. Another staring contest between the two of us went down and I swallowed as quietly as I could, realizing that she might not let me go.

I slowly turned to leave, but her hand reached out and grabbed my shoulder gently. _Gently_! She was a Strigoi for cripes sake! She shouldn't be gentle.

"I would not do that if I were you," she said calmly. And suddenly my fear of her not letting me leave returned.

"Why not?" I asked quietly. And obviously with her abnormally good hearing, she heard me and gave me a pained smile.

"Because the Court's been under attack. By my coven sadly. I told them not to do it because it's stupid and pointless and more of our kind will probably die anyway."

She shrugged as if all this meant nothing, but I could somehow see in her red eyes that this was hurting her.

"Well if you're so worried about your own kind, why aren't you there fighting with them?" I asked, suddenly angry.

She looked at me, confused. "You think I'm worried about my kind? Hell no. Not with what monsters they are. A lot of them do deserve to get staked and I do hope that most of them do. Oh, wait I just called them monsters. When I'm a monster myself."

She laughed bitterly. "I never wanted to be this way. And even now as a Strigoi, I wish that I'd have the guts to kill myself, but really, what's left?"

She looked at me, not blinking, not moving a muscle, and not letting her eyes leave my face. "I should have just gone with them so I could've have let myself get staked but…I keep hoping that…"

She shook her head suddenly, her dark brown hair whipping back and forth violently. "No, never mind. It's not important. But just so you know, if I had gone with my coven, I wouldn't be protecting them. I'd be focused on helping protect your kind, but coming from a Strigoi that probably sounds really weird right?"

She smiled again, this time it actually looked free from a lot of the torment and turmoil she was most likely feeling. Wait, but she was a Strigoi…how could she feel?

"You're a Strigoi, so how can you_"

Her smile instantly turned bitter once more. "Feel? Feel something other than sadistic pleasure at watching my victims die? I don't know the answer to that. All I know is that I don't like death. I don't like causing it. I don't like how what I am is practically death itself!"

Okay, this just kept getting weirder and weirder. This had been consuming my thoughts lately. A Strigoi that could actually feel emotions. I didn't think there could actually be one; honestly I had just been curious to know if there was. I had been pretty doubtful.

And now here was a revelation in front of me. The albino-white skin, the blood red eyes, the grotesque fangs…she was indeed a Strigoi, but she just wasn't actually playing the part.

And somehow, call me crazy but I believed it wasn't an act. She really did care about how many people died because of what she was. She felt pain and sorrow because of it. She hated death and was staying away from a fight, which Strigoi loved, just so she wouldn't hurt anybody.

She could feel my tense muscles slowly begin to relax and she too allowed herself to relax. She leaned against the tree and looked up at the sky, drinking in the sights around her.

"Do you think it's beautiful?" I murmured quietly. Before the words had even finished making their way from my mind to my lips, she bounded off in a split second and that's when I heard the pounding of feet behind me.

It was Rose. And boy did she look pissed. "What the hell do you think you're doing Ivashkov?" She practically screamed. I shrugged. I seemed to have gained back my ability to be nonchalant about practically everything.

She dug her nails sharply into my shoulder. "I and Lissa's other guardians got her to safety and Lissa agreed that someone still needed to find you. You are a dumbass, you know that!"

And somehow, I couldn't help but let a small grin plaster itself on my face. "But I'm _your _dumbass, right?"

She made a hissing noise in the back of her throat and continued to literally drag me back the way I had come, except somewhere in between she started taking weird twists and turns.

Things at Court were still probably going bad, I guessed. So there was no way that Rose would lead me back into the face of danger. Well, unless she was just that pissed at me because I ran off. A classic Rose thing to do would be for her to throw me into the middle of the chaos and tell me to fend for myself. That it would teach me a lesson.

Although what I decided to keep my mouth shut about, was that I had technically already fended for myself. And against a Strigoi too. But…she was nothing like the others of her kind. I had only been with her for like five minutes but from the way she talked and carried herself, I could tell that she mostly tried to live in the moment.

And lately, that's what I had been doing. Just doing things one day at a time until they got better or worse. Although in my case, and I'm pretty sure hers too, we were both at the worse part now. But in some ways I was letting myself stay too deep in the past. And once more, I think she was too.

_In the moment is what I need_

_But I haven't been able to live that way_

_Not until another day_

_I met a fork in the road and made the wrong turn_

_You'd think I would have learned_

_That the past is the past_

_And right here is right now._

_Moments go by so fast_

_I can't let any slip away_

_Before it's too late_

_I need to take charge_

_And do what's right_

_And in this moment, I'm free_

_So for once, just let me be._

Alright….those lyrics came off the top of my head and the first one is again Adrian's. It's basically saying how he needs to stop thinking about the past and start learning from his mistakes. And that by meeting Carter, a Strigoi who's actually kind, but who's in the same boat as he is, he suddenly feels as if he's not alone. Again, wrote the lyrics myself. Now as for Carter's part. Her life before being turned Strigoi still haunts her and she doesn't want to let any good that can come out of being Strigoi to slip away before it's too late. And how she wants to be back to the way she was but in order to do so she needs to take charge but feels like she has to do it alone.

Yeah…very in depth meanings. They seem to fit if you think about it hard enough, I guess. XP; If you don't like them, just let me know. They seem pretty good for this chapter. Again, comments? Opinions/thoughts? Ideas?


	3. Caught in Between

Chapter 2 uploaded in the same day as one and I'm already doing chapter 3 You can tell I am so in love with this idea of mine! XP I love it so much that I really do hope you guys like it and even if you don't, I'm in such a confidence mood right now that I hopefully won't mind. I like it and that's what counts. Anyways, I really do hope you enjoy. As always I don't own Vampire Academy or its characters. Just Carter (I really don't feel like saying I own most of her coven even though I came up with half of them. XP) and my idea.

An Eternity is Not Forever

Chapter 3: The Middle (Caught in Between)

Carter lay against a tree, hidden from view as she rested. True Strigoi didn't need or require rest but she felt like she needed a years worth. That boy…he had been a Moroi and yet, he hadn't shouted for help when she had shown up. He had trusted her somewhat.

She sighed. "And I almost revealed my secret to him. I mean…maybe he can help. But I'm a Strigoi. Why would he want to help me?" She muttered to herself.

Suddenly Anastasia burst into the clearing where Carter was hiding and fixed her with a gaze that somehow managed to be burning and icy and the same time. "Where have you been?" She demanded, a hiss low in her throat and ready to spring.

Carter shrugged. "I was out and about around the forest. I would've helped you guys, but you were doing such a great job!" she exclaimed sarcastically with a roll of her eyes.

Anastasia's hiss burst from her throat and she gripped the younger Strigoi's arm tightly. "I am so sick of this! You always have your own way of doing things! You should be loyal to Donovan by being loyal to the rest of the coven that he left behind! He's the one who changed you so show some respect!"

Carter snorted. "Yeah, he changed me into a monster. That just _screams_ respect." She wouldn't look Anastasia in the eye only because she saw no point to even bothering with the older Strigoi.

"So, were Mark and Lizzie killed? They were always my least favorites," Carter said with a yawn. Anastasia jerked her harder and snarled. "I could snap this arm in one single movement. So I'd watch it if I were you."

She threw Carter back onto the ground and then literally disappeared into the night. Carter gave a chuckle. "She's so damn fun to piss off. Too bad she didn't get staked though. She's one of the ones I wanted to get murdered too…"

Carter stood up with a sigh and with one last thought of that brown-haired Moroi, disappeared into the night as well.

*Adrian's POV*

After a very, _very_ long lecture from Rose, my mother, Rose's mother and Lissa, I was sent to my room so I could get some rest. Turns out that nearly no Dhampirs were killed and absolutely no Moroi were. Practically all of the victims had been Strigoi.

Strigoi…that word right now…well it was doing some weird things to my mind. Not that my mind wasn't weird already, but still. That girl, she had been so different from any others of her kind. She had actually smiled and it wasn't out of sardonic pleasure but to make me feel safe.

And when she had laughed…the one laugh that hadn't had any bitter edge laced to it at all had sounded somewhat like bells chiming. Although that was probably just to me. I seemed to be losing my mind faster than ever lately.

And even though she was nice, her being a Strigoi, you'd think would keep me away but I just had to see her again. I had to. Surprisingly enough, Rose and the others hadn't told me I had to stay put for awhile. They didn't say I wasn't allowed out after I got some sleep.

Which right now, some sleep sounded pretty damn good to me. So I lay down in my huge, king-size bed and allowed myself to drift into that heavy sleep that could usually always make me feel better.

It wasn't too much longer before I felt the slumber leaving me and felt my eyes open to darkness around me. I sighed. Good, it was the next night. I had slept all through the day like I had been hoping I would and now I could go back out to the forest.

No doubt if Rose saw me sneaking our or found me later she'd have a bitch fit and be even more pissed at me than before. But I was willing to take that chance to see that girl again.

So I put on a light jacket, now sure how cold it would be out and snuck out of my room. Good, no one was around. At least for now. I made it the rest of the way out of my building and saw only two guardians. Neither of which were Rose. And after a little compulsion on my part I was allowed back out.

I hurried back into the forest, wondering why they had only two guardians at my building. Figured I wouldn't be dumb enough to sneak out again, I guess. Ah, they really didn't know me as well as they thought they did. It was quite amusing.

I made my way quietly to the middle of the dark forest and just spent a few seconds waiting. But that was all it took for the Strigoi from before to jump down in front of me again.

She smiled, but this time it had a trace of humor in it. "I see, so you were dumb enough to come back. I already knew _I_ was, but I wasn't sure about you. What about that girl from before? She didn't let you come did she?"

I gave her a crooked smile. "I play by my own rules. If I was good enough with my escape she probably doesn't even know I'm here."

She rolled her eyes. "You know you could be a gentleman and at least give me your name," she said, fixing her stare on me. "Adrian," I said. "And so that would make me Carter," she said, trying her best to smile.

After that there was only silence. I looked around our surroundings and then looked back at her. "So, why did you come back?" I asked. That got more of a smile which I had been looking for. "I couldn't leave without telling you my name and finding out yours."

"But right now…I actually think since we just covered the name basis that it's time for me to go."

"Wait!" I had been about to reach out and grab her arm but something in her expression told me to stay back. So I hesitated and finally pulled back and let my arm fall to my side. She gave a sigh. "The only reason we met is because of my coven coming to Court and the fact that I stayed behind. Our meeting was purely accident…"

She paused and looked away. "Well, even if I differ greatly from my own kind I'm still a Strigoi and you're a Moroi. I shouldn't be here right now."

"Neither should I," I pointed out, shrugging. She gave me a wry smile. "And yet it's obvious why you're here. You like danger, correct?"

"Well that's one reason," I said with a fairly sly smile. She just rolled her red eyes, a grimace now painting her features.

"The point is, neither of us should have come back. It's not safe for us. Well, truthfully I don't really care about my safety. It's yours I'm worried about. You're stupid enough to come out into the forest in the middle of the night without a guardian when my coven could still be lurking around."

I shrugged again and pulled out a cigarette. Now hardly seemed the time for one, but hey, I figured why not?

She frowned as I lit it and pulled it up to my lips. "You do know those are incredibly bad for you, right?"

I laughed quietly as I blew the smoke out. "You're not the first person who's told me that."

She raised her eyebrows and was about to say something but then quickly decided against it, guessing she probably didn't even want to know the answer.

"So like I said, I should go. And so should you." She fixed me with a glare and then swiftly and as fast as a bullet, turned her back toward me. "And if I were you, I wouldn't come back to this place. Even at night. Because I most likely won't be coming back."

And with that she dashed off into the trees and was out of sight in an instant. I was about to pull the cigarette back up to my lips when her words stopped me.

"_I most likely won't be coming back."_

I frowned. She really wouldn't come back. At this moment in time I was only able to see what was happening through my own eyes. I wasn't even bothering to think about trying to guess what it was like for her.

How could she leave just like that? If she had been a normal Strigoi I could understand her wanting to go back to her coven. Although if she were a normal Strigoi I'd most likely be dead before she went back. But Carter had said that she didn't even like her coven. She loathed them.

I mean, sure I was a Moroi but she had already proven she wouldn't hurt me. Even without a guardian around she had made no harsh moves towards me.

So I just couldn't seem to understand why she would leave just like that. It just didn't seem to make any sense. I let the cigarette fall to the ground and snuffed it out with my shoe. I let out a deep breath and watched as the cold turned it to fog.

I didn't care what she had said. I would come back tomorrow. Sure I had only known her for practically only a day, but there was already something about her that I didn't see too often; that no one saw too often.

_I'm caught in between asking why and already knowing_

_The answer's clear but the haze in my brain_

_Makes it hard to explain_

_There's something about you_

_That brings me close_

_In the middle of you is my overdose._

_I'm breaking away_

_There's nothing left to say_

_Being in the middle is driving me crazy_

_I know I can't stay but it hurt to drive myself away_

_I'm caught in between _

_Wanting you and wanting what's right._

I don't think I should have to explain this one, but I will anyways. Adrian's part is saying he's caught between wondering why she left and at the same time, he already knows why. Carter's is saying how she thinks that she doesn't have to explain her leaving but wanting to stay is practically driving her crazy.


	4. Addiction

Wow, chapters 3 and 4 in the same day! I'm impressed with myself! I'd like to start off by saying that I hope to God I am not making Adrian OOC and that Carter isn't seeming like a Mary-Sue. DX I pray not to both of those! But if I am please don't be afraid to tell me. Again, this story is dedicated to A-Queenoffairys. I swear, all our talks about Vampire Academy and then reading Last Sacrifice are the two main reasons I'm so inspired to do this! Thanks bunches!

Also thanks to those who review. Haven't gotten any yet, but I'm not going to let that get me down. ~shrugs~ People will review if they want to or if they liked my story enough. I do hope my story is worth-reading and that it captures your attention and I am open to ideas. So if there are things you want to see happen, leave your suggestions in reviews please! ^-^ 

As always I don't own Vampire Academy or its characters. I only own Carter and my plot line. Now on to the story! Enjoy.~ ~ ~

_An Eternity is Not Forever_

_Chapter 4: Addiction_

Carter lay still against the windowsill; motionless, not even a slight flick of the eyes or the slightest of changes in position.

The twilight sky darkened and clouds of thunder rolled along in the skies. The perfect weather to fit Carter's mood.

Being a Strigoi really did suck. No pun intended. But you really had absolutely nothing to do during the day. As a Strigoi you worked alone. Not even your own kind liked you. Sometimes they would put up with you, but in the end they'd go their own ways.

Some would say that Carter was lucky she lived with a coven. Others would not. Anyways, you had no friends and the Moroi and Dhampir despised your kind. And like mentioned before, Strigoi most usually always hated others of their own kind as well.

And even before her transformation, Carter had been a social butterfly, craving other's company; Addicted to it, actually. And the one friend she had somewhat made she told goodbye to because she couldn't risk hurting him.

Yeah, she really was different from her own kind. She cared about others, didn't hunt as often, and was disgusted by the mere sight, stench and even _taste_ of blood. Wow, she was one weird Strigoi.

Maybe it was her subconscious yearning for the attention of someone that wasn't one of her vicious, mocking kind. Maybe it was just her desire to have someone, anyone really that she could talk to and would listen. And Adrian had seemed like that person.

She had known him knot even for a full day but she could feel him bringing out a part of her that had ceased to exist since her transformation. That being, he was starting to make her want to have fun again.

After…well you know, her transformation, she had completely locked up the part of her that loved anything fun. With no one but Strigoi by her side there was no fun in anything anymore. They literally did suck the life out of everything. _Everything._ Your ability to have friends, to have fun, to be normal…Yeah, you get the point.

Carter watched silently and still unmoving as the rain began to pour down in sheets on the ground. There was really nothing else to do. But as soon as she had seen that Adrian was Moroi I think she knew deep down that nothing could change that; that nothing could be done.

She wanted a friend and he couldn't be one because of what she was. As always, being a Strigoi…well, all your problems usually always came back to haunt you. And this one was haunting Carter.

*Adrian's POV*

I sat on the edge of my bed, pondering my choices as I watched the rain scatter all over. She had told me not to come back, so I could either listen to her and stay here, bored to tears and much to everyone else's relief, out of trouble…or I could go to the forest again at night and see if she would come back.

Sadly, something told me that she would stay true to her word and wouldn't come back but I still wanted to at least check. As always, I had an addictive personality, one that right now was getting on my nerves.

A Strigoi with emotions…I had actually met a Strigoi that still had her emotions. I think that was the main reason I was drawn to her but there seemed to be something else too…Maybe it was just the spirit talking. Maybe I really was slowly starting to go insane. Whatever the case, something about her was addicting. Even more so than any of my cigarettes or any alcoholic beverage.

Oddly enough, right after thinking that there was a knock on my door. Or more like a pounding I guess you could say. I opened it and low and behold Rose and Dimitri were standing there. The dynamic duo responsible for how much alcohol I had recently been consuming.

Okay, now that was harsh. They weren't exactly responsible…but they did play a big part by creating the anguish that had led me to my vices. You know what? Maybe it's best if I just shut up.

"What do you want?" I asked, keeping my face neutral; my voice monotone. Rose fixed me with a glare. "You didn't go out last night, did you?"

She was scrutinizing me whereas Dimitri was just eyeing me curiously. "So what if I did?" I asked haughtily. What did it matter to her what I did. I wasn't hers and I was never hers to begin with, like I had told Dimitri.

"If you did, your mom's going to be upset and I'm going to be pissed!" I raised my eyebrows at her choice of words. "Rose, you're usually always pissed even if I'm not the cause. And besides, last I checked, I'm over the age of eighteen which means you and my mom have no say in what I do."

Rose smirked. "You forget, Ivashkov, I'm a _guardian._ You're a Moroi. Guardians are trained to protect your kind, you smartass!" This brought a chuckle to my lips. "True, but you're not my guardian. You're Lissa's. Which makes me question what _he's_ doing here."

I fixed my stare on Dimitri but quickly turned back to Rose. But, Rose being…well, Rose, she had caught my gaze and frowned. "He's Christian's guardian. Do I look like Christian?" I asked.

Not sure if it was just my temper or the side effects of spirit I was feeling my anger bubbling inside of my chest. Rose noticed because she didn't snap back with some retort that it was none of my business what Dimitri was doing with her, but instead eyed me skeptically.

"What's wrong with you today?" she asked, her dark eyes scrutinizing me once again. I shrugged. "Nothing much. Just lost a friend, but not sure if it even matters or anything."

Her expression softened. "You haven't lost me Adrian. We're still_"

I whirled around, once again facing her and had to visibly restrain myself from letting a hiss make its way up my throat and out my lips. "I'm not talking about you!" I snapped.

Now, instead of looking at me curiously, Dimitri was frowning, and obviously Rose was mirroring him, a frown of her own creasing her face.

I took a few deep, ragged breaths and sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, alright. I'm not in the best of moods right now and no offense, but your little interrogation didn't really help."

Rose's frown stayed put on her face but I thought I also saw another wave of sympathy wash over her. "Adrian, we're still friends. If something's upsetting you, you can tell me. I know I'm not the first person most people would choose to come to but I am quite a good listener."

At that I had to smile slightly, but it vanished as quickly as it had come. Another sigh. "I wish I could, but…my problem is something I can't tell anybody. It could get me in a hell of a lot of trouble." Rose raised her eyebrows, once again skeptical.

"Look, I'm probably better off being alone right now. Thanks for checking up on me, but I'm fine. Just need some extra rest I guess." I put on what I hoped was a convincing smile but I knew neither Rose nor Dimitri bought it. But Rose just shrugged and let it go.

She was about to leave when Dimitri stopped her and whispered something in her ear. She looked at him curiously but then left anyway. Dimitri on the other hand made no such move. Instead he strode slowly toward me.

"This isn't about sneaking out, is it?" he asked, his voice almost just a murmur. I shook my head, a dry smile on my lips. "No, it's not. But I still can't tell you what it is. Just that it's not that."

Now it was his turn to scrutinize me. I kept my face level, a little bit easier now that Rose was gone, and kept my green eyes locked with his brown ones to show that I wasn't intimidated by him.

"Rose told me that when she found you on the night of the attack, she said you were talking to yourself. But I have a feeling it was someone else."

I didn't answer. I didn't even make any acknowledgement that I'd heard him. "Adrian, the Court is still in major disarray…" He paused, careful of how to word his next sentence. "If it's someone who has importance in this matter, we need to know."

I shook my head. "Look, it doesn't even matter anyways. She said that she couldn't come back." I blinked and then groaned, realizing what I had just given away. He smirked, obviously pleased he had been able to get something out of me.

"Who's _she_?" Again, I didn't answer. This time I absolutely couldn't. I couldn't trust him to tell him about Carter. If they knew of her coven he'd rush off and tell the other guardians and then they'd take immediate action to track them and kill every one of them off. Even Carter.

There'd be no time for me to explain how different Carter was from the rest and even if they did give me time they'd never believe me. Besides, I didn't trust Belikov anyways.

He circled around me like an animal its prey and gave me a grin. "Figures. You don't trust me do you?"

"Perceptive…" I muttered, "And very true."

His grin stayed put on his face but I saw something in his eyes that said he would find out what my little secret was sooner or later. And even though I didn't trust him, I knew sooner or later I'd have no choice but to let the cat out of the bag. Or in this case, Strigoi.

He left the room in only a few swift strides and then I shut my door behind him. Damn it. This wasn't good. Not only would Carter most likely not come back but I was being interrogated already. And by my former girlfriend's true love. This day was turning out to be awesome so far. Not.

"It seems that Carter's already an addiction that I just can't rid of. Hopefully she will come back. And I'll be there ready and waiting when she does."

_My addiction to you is hopeless_

_I hit and miss; you're my target_

_I can't seem to fight the power of you_

_Running through my veins_

_You render me powerless_

_What kind of addiction is this?_

_Fighting this addiction is useless_

_I'll give in sooner or later_

_Whether it be right or wrong_

_The truth is in sight_

_I can't get you out of my mind_

_I can't win this fight_

_Though I've tried with all my might_

_It's now clear that my addiction is you._

Alright, that's chapter 4! Hopefully I'll do chapter 5 soon! I definitely have the inspiration for it. Now to explain the lyrics. Again, I wrote them and Adrian's, like always is the first part. It's saying that even though he doesn't know why, he's being pulled by some part of him toward Carter. Carter's part is saying that trying to fight her addiction to Adrian is useless and that it doesn't matter whether seeing him is right or wrong because she just can't get him out of her mind even though she's tried. 

Oh and one more thing, I'm sorry if this seems to be going so fast. I hope it's not but tell me if it is and I'll try to slow down. ^^: Anyways, I still hope you like it.~


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